Back to normal...

Hawaii, obviously

Yesterday morning, after a pancake breakfast, my mother gave final hugs to everyone, and headed out the door.  She left with a version of our cold/flu, but was hopefully otherwise mostly unscathed.  Juniper and Linden and I put in a morning at home, then scooted off to the bus station with much anticipation to finally (FINALLY!) pick Clark up from his many hours of flying. "Ahhhhh", said Juniper - "I'm sad that Mary is gone, but I'm so happy to have everything back to normal".  Right - normal.  Whatever that means.

So - the big question:  how did we all fare, during this decidedly "abnormal" week? Honestly, it could have been better. But it also could have been much, much worse (this is what I kept telling myself, anyway). As anyone who read last week's post knows, I was sick. In fact, I still am sick. This, of course, already put things off to a bad start. Then, there were the excruciating two drop-offs where I left a sobbing, kicking Linden at daycare (no - he still hasn't acclimatized), some really early mornings, and - the real kicker - there was a pukefest.  JUST as I was thinking to myself "well, at least no one threw up this time around," Juniper woke up on Saturday morning, and started vomiting every 5 minutes.

Movies and a bucket

Now, most of you are probably thinking - "well, Tara - kids puke". Yes, everyone - that is true.  But anyone who knows me well knows that I have more than a bit of emetophobia. I don't deal well with vomiting in any incarnation - Clark is usually the one on vomit patrol. But on Saturday, it was all me. And it wasn't just the horror of Juniper being sick... it was all the potential for me and Linden also getting sick (I didn't worry as much about mom, as she somehow miraculously does not ever vomit, the lucky woman). I pictured all of us with some awful bug, all at the same time, and my mom leaving on Sunday... needless to say, I mostly had a sleepless night on Saturday.  But Linden and I seem to have (knock on wood), missed out on it. Anyway, that just capped it all off.  I told Clark he was never allowed to go away again for that long (at least while the kids are still so young).  I doubt I have much say in that matter, when it comes right down to it, but I'll defiantly put my foot down in theory for now.  And I'll likely take a bit of a "me" day today.

Anyway, despite it being a tougher week than I had anticipated, the kids also had a whole lot of fun with my mom (and thank the lord she was here).  And now, as Juniper says, we can get back to "normal".

And what is normal right now?

For Juniper, it is all about the Child Center (and lunch bunch, when we let her stay for lunch), and fancy dresses, and dancing, and playing make-believe games, and books, and helping with whatever makes her feel big. It is about trying to get away with trading in naps for quiet time (which will likely start happening more and more, as she is going to need to be on a nap-free schedule come fall - and Kindergarten!  eep!).

For Linden, right now clearly involves a little separation anxiety.  This is the first time he's ever done anything even close to daycare, and it is taking a lot of getting used to.  My resolve is quickly diminishing, as it is heartbreaking to leave a devastated child behind in someone else's arms as you turn your back and walk away.  It was never like this with Juniper.  But apparently, his day on Thursday was much better than Wednesday, and maybe this week will be better still.  If it's not, then I may just call this a failed experiment.  We'll see.
Right, now I am also officially weaning Linden. He has been going for days and days without even thinking to ask for "nums", and then when he does think of it, he'll nurse for only a few moments.  I decided that enough was enough - no need keeping up my supply for a VERY occasional fix.  But this may be part of his separation anxiety as well.  Last night he asked for some "breast", and I said "no, Linden - the milk is all gone."  And he replied "Well, just squeeze it out.  It works if you squeeze it a bit". Cheeky kid. This is also something I didn't have to do with Juniper - she weaned herself when I was about 7 months pregnant with Linden.
For Linden, right now is also about potty humour (he laughs uproariously whenever anything related to a "toot" happens).  "POOH-YOU!" he'll exclaim, chortling (this is his version of peee-eww!) "who tooted?  I think MAMA!" and then he'll laugh and laugh. "POOH-YOU!  That's a little STINKY!"  The hilarity never ends.

For Clark, right now is about trying to find out what our next step is - where we will be headed next, and when. That means trying to churn out papers, and applying for any jobs that come up for which he might be eligible.  It is more than a little stressful, this liminal stage, and so much depends on him.  But I'm sure the right place will find us, when it is supposed to - that is often how these things go. So the key is just figuring out how to accomplish everything that needs to be accomplished without letting the stress take over.  We're both trying to figure that one out.

And for me?  Trying to carve out the time to get. my. thesis. done (so much more difficult than it would seem! but you can't imagine how awesome it would be to just get that sucker done.) And mothering two small children. That's mostly it.  Also, this weaning Linden thing means that when Linden is really and truly weaned, this will be the first time in over 5 years that I will not be sharing my body with a wee one in some capacity (either being pregnant and/or breastfeeding)... so perhaps this is a new era for me as well. Very bitter-sweet.

And if you stuck with all these musings for this long, well done!  I'll try to ramble less next week.